I am officially concluding the longest streak I have of living in one apartment. On May 1st I will have lived on Mclellan Road for one whole year. That’s my longest living arrangement commitment.
I’ve been thinking a lot about commitment lately. Do I love it or hate it? Can the world handle them or are we all fickle at heart? Do we have confidence in commitments or are they all just a leap of faith in which we hope like hell don’t fall through? Can we be certain that our commitments will last?
On my journey toward 30 years on this planet I have, a time or two, questioned my ability or willingness to commit. I think past experience has proven to me that I’m not always sure of what I want (and conversations with many others have shown me that, in fact, no one does). So how do we know when we’re ready to devote ourselves exclusively to something?
Well, it seems that we don’t. It’s been proven (if that’s possible) that nothing can be proven with 100% certainty (hmm). Even one of the smartest men to ever live was never certain; Einstein said, “I believe in intuitions and inspirations… I sometimes feel that I am right. I do not know that I am.”
In some ways that’s exciting, it’s all about how we feel, risks, hope, and exciting possibilities. But in many other ways, especially for someone who would prefer to say “yes” or “no” and know this is the right thing, it’s scary.
As I said last week though, the world is all about commitments, just look at the stepping stones of life that so many generations have followed: high school, college, graduate, career, marriage, and kids.
All of those are serious commitments. And a couple are commitments that I, myself, have made. In fact, when I think about it, I’ve made lots of commitments. But most of them I’ve agonized over, dissecting them inside and out, questioning them and re-questioning them until I had no choice but to decide.
Many times, I’ve realized, that looking back there was no right or wrong choice just a move that needed to be made in order to continue forward. Luckily, I do believe that this is true in a lot of cases, we can’t be wrong we just have to commit to something even if it’s not forever.
Actually, what worries me the most about commitment is not my fear of it, but my fierce dedication to it. I’m very loyal, almost to a fault, and once I decide to commit ..it’s forever. I’ll fight, work, and give it my all because I said I would.
While we can’t be certain how we’ll feel tomorrow or who we’ll be next week, maybe that’s the beauty of it. An early 1900s psychologist, Roberto Assagioli, may have had it right when he said, “There is no certainty, there is only adventure.”