How do we know when to keep fighting or when to throw in the towel? How do we know when the time is up on moments, on people, on phases of our lives?
It’s hard to understand that there are things in our lives that can’t be forever; like, naiveté, our early twenties, and childhood. In order for us to grow we have to move past all of those things.
But me? I’ve always been a fighter and I’ve always been a hoarder. I like to hang on to things as long as I can.
I think sports taught me that: it ain’t ova’ til it’s ova’. If I commit to doing something then I am going to finish it; I take pride in my loyalty, effort, and drive.
My parents instilled these things in me as, at a young age, they never let me give up on anything (hello! I played trumpet until I was 18!). During a basketball game, if I’m down 20 with a minute to go or down 2 you’ll see the same determination from me. I will take no regard to the embarrassment I might feel if I’m the only one giving 100% effort or the hurt I’ll feel when the game is over and we’ve lost. Until the buzzer sounds I’m going to give it my all.
As I creep up on my 30s I find it hard to know when things are over. It’s hard to understand when it’s time to move on in your life, pack up the good things, leave the bad things behind, and go.
There are no buzzers to tell us.
In the real world we’ve got relationships, jobs, and periods in our lives in which we have to make this decision. Sometimes it’s made for us (being laid off or getting dumped) but sometimes it’s up to us to know when to move forward.
I’ve seen many people give up on things when they’ve gotten difficult. And I get it, it’s much easier when things go wrong to just say, “hey, I didn’t try my hardest anyway.” But what’s the fun in easy? There aren’t many things worth having, I’m finding, that don’t require effort.
And I think it’s very, very easy to forget that.