Basketball never seizes to surprise me. Something new happens almost every week I play, something I’ve never seen, thought of, or done before.
During one of our last games I heard something I’d never heard before: an apology. And I’m not talking about the obligatory pat on the butt “sorry for the hard foul” apology, no, I’m talking a real, sincere apology.
Over the years I’ve been in a lot of little spats with my opponents, that’s just the nature of the game and the exchanges are probably especially caddy in the women’s game. To prove that I’ll embarrass myself and say that more than once I’ve repeated what my opponent said in a mock voice like I was a 10-year-old. I’m not proud of it and I can’t even explain it, but most games there are things said on the court in the light of competition. Often times I would go home thinking how ridiculous I sounded or looked.
So back to the game, well, the girl I was defending at the time made a snide comment after I got excited about her moving screen foul; nothing out of the ordinary. So I simply replied with an equally snide comment of my own, play resumed, and we were on our merry way. I hate to say it, but little snaps like this are old hat for me, what happened a few plays later was not. We were standing next to each other during a free throw and she said something that surprised me: “I’m sorry for what I said before, it wasn’t necessary.” I looked at her, laughed, and the same mouth that had been frothing earlier replied, “Hey don’t worry about it, I do the same, it’s a game.”
Though I did reply nonchalantly, the irony of an apology during battle wasn’t lost on me. I have always wondered how much of “the game” trash talking has to be, specifically how much of my game it had to be. Every time I’d have a game in which I said something stupid in the heat of the moment, I’d always feel extremely guilty about it afterward, that right there should tell me I don’t need it. I have apologized to teammates if I said something in anger at them but never to opponents, they are the enemy right?
Turns out, I felt much better about our little confrontation after she apologized. I guess it made me realize I’m not so crazy after all, that other people say things they regret, too, even during competition.
Though I have always lived with the assumption that opponents think I’m a big jerk on the court, maybe they actually do understand that it’s just a game and so are some of the comments. Then again, maybe they don’t; and let’s be honest, I’ll probably never make an on-court apology myself. Though “There’s no crying in baseball,” I guess Mr. Hanks never said anything about apologies.
